Dear Chica, putang ina mo! And I’m nt refering 2 ur website!!! - Anonymus via text

Chica - (When I got this message I rang this person’s phone just to annoy them. I usually don’t do this but I was bored : )

Misd call ka jan! cnt afford 2 call me?just hope id b able 2 c my crude rmark on ur cool webbie!

Chica - Of course I can’t afford to call you. If I was a rich SOB, do you think I would spend my time answering questions from total strangers? I would be traveling and shopping! As for your “crude” remark…. do you really think I will cry cuz of what you texted me?

Help! I ws nt lyk dis until i study at an all - gurl school! I am falling in lov 2 a gurl! wat shud I do? - Chickie

Chica - Cool….another lesbien. My theory stands correct! The reason the Philippines has so many gay men and women is becuase of the isolation! What do these nuns and priests expect in an all girl and all boy school? There are only two outputs: 1) You either become gay or 2) You become horny ass hell! Am I right or am I right?

putangina.com! hehehe! cool website dude! laughing trip ako when i read all of your responses to the stupid questions some of your “avid fans” posted. Keep up the cool work chica! - Wassup Pipol via email

Chica - It’s Putanginamo.com! I’m not a dude, dude. I’m a dudette. Thanks! I wouldn’t call them “avid fans”, I would call them “rabid” fans. There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Only STUPID PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS………….

do u think AMA is a rily MF rotten school lyk every1 else says? - Mojo via text

Chica - No, AMA isn’t rotten, just the students! Hehehe….just kidding! I actually almost went there. If I was an AMA student, I would go to the states and make $100,000 a year as a programmer instead of making P6,000 here! Is Jolina still the AMA mascot? I heard that the AMA students protested that she be removed as their mascot. Is that true? LONG LIVE THE AMA AND JOLINA LOVE TEAM!

r u a pervert? - chickie via text

Chica - No, but your mom is. Why would you say that? I would say that most people that email and text me are the perverts! WAIT! Aren’t you the same Chickie that is falling in love with a girl? Your trying to get with me huh? You wanna hump me huh? I think you will have better luck with the girl in your school.

dear chica, if goemon(samurai guy of lupin) fought kenchi(of samurai x), who wud win? - Kalbo via text

Chica - Hey, didn’t I already answer one of your questions already? I don’t know, I never watched any of those movies. The only ones I’ve seen are Ghost in the shell and Ninja Scroll. I think the 2 girls in those movies will kick both Goemon and Kenchi’s ass!

hi chica, ikaw ba yung girl na nasa picture sa main page? sino ka don sa photo? btw, bakit pala ang baga i-access ang putangina.com pag local isp? do u have another alternative mirror site?

Chica - It’s me. Maybe your talking about the photo with Joey Mead? I don’t know who that girl is. Probably some “Cool Techno Raver”. When you goto Putangina.com it goes to Register.com. Register.com is not a local ISP. You see the same thing when you goto Putanginamorin.com. I wonder what’s gonna be on that site……

dear chica, is that you on the blurry pic? if thats you, then i would say that you are one pretty babe. why blur it when you’ve got the looks? anyway, this web site is the best. i just wanna ask you. why does carlo agassi think hes cool? i mean hes not cool, man. he mother fuckin stink!!! - RUBBERKID

Chica - Hey RubberKid! Why are you RubberKid? You use a lot of rubbers? That’s me, the blurry picture. I blur the picture so that people don’t recognize me when I go out. It’s for my protection. Plus, I don’t wanna sign hundreds of autographs! Hehehe. I don’t know if Carlos Agassi thinks he’s cool. Mabye he is a nice guy in person. Maybe he can freestyle like Common or Del The Funky Homosapien. Maybe Jolina has a baby. Maybe Joyce J is a virgin. Mabye Kuya Germs really has black hair. Maybe Judy Ann is pretty. Maybe Kris Aquino is very smart and just acts stupid.

Heya Chica, my girlfriend and I have been going out for 3 months. Our sex life is OK by far but I wanted more…I’ve given her oral sex with the lights on but when she gives the lights have to be off. We talked about this over and over but she seems unfair about it. Now I need your advice how to have her perform fellatio with the lights on? Btw, are you naked behind the picture??? - TheHive

Chica - I think she doesn’t wanna see your balls upclose. Balls are already ugly from far away. Imagine if they were right next to your eyeballs! Your just a freaky MF! Haha! I’m not naked behind the picture. I don’t trust the photographer!

Hi pare kewl website pare. ganda mo naman pare, sobrang interesting website natin pare. Iam mo pare patok ka talaga, kaya pare pa-kis naman pare kung pwede lang pare! - Anonymus via email

Chica - We don’t think we are cool. If you want a kiss, go to www.kiss.com. Maybe one day we will be able to send cyber kisses through the internet. You attach some sort of device to your lips and feel the pressure. It could even have a tongue too! I bet someone already made one at MIT.

Dear Chica, what can I do to get over my katorpehan? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Get some balls and go for it! If you get dissed, oh well…..try and try again. Come on! If Leo Martinez can get a girl, why can’t you? Unless your more annoying than Leo Martinez.

Chika, iv vcited ur syt, putanginamo.com yesterday, & I fnd it so cul. jst wanna ask wat do you thnk bout chico and delmar? d 2 djs n 93.9 kcfm evry mrning? - Mojo via text

Chica - Wow! You really know text short hand! Good thing I’m an expert! Hehe…Chico and Delmar, those are the DJ’s who came out with that ground breaking album right? The can really sing! They are so talented. They are up there with Lea Salonga! If you didn’t know by now, I’m just kidding. I don’t have a radio so I don’t get to listen to them much. The only time I get to listen to them is when I’m in a taxi or bus. I heard that they are gonna be part of the Pinoy Greatest Performers compilation CD along with Carlos Agassi, Idol Zone…..excuse me I have to barf……Sumpako(or is it Sampako), April Boy, Marvin Augustine, and ________ <— insert your favorite formula singer here. They deserve each other.

Dear chica! nde pa ko nakaka-kantot kahit kelan ng babae! pwede mo ba ko bigyan ng experience? pwede ba tayong dalawa? teka…. babae ka nga ba ? - Anno Nymus via email

Chica - Haha!!! Loser! You one of those guys that tries to get some through the net. I bet you found this site at Yehey.com while looking for Joyce Jiminez pictures to use for jacking off. Of course I’m a girl, I better change my picture cuz I’m getting too many loosers like you emailing me. I fee like I’m the girl in Dogma and all you guys are Silent Bob and the other guy!

Suck my f#%k*n d&ck - Anno Nymus via unimobile

Chica - You again. How original. I have never recieved a message like that. I guess your saving your “Talk ‘n Text” credits cuz you txt through unimobile.

Dear Chica, how come you never answer any of my questions?

Chica - Becuase you need REAL HELP. If your question doesn’t get answered, post them on the “Dear Chica” section in the message board and I’ll see what I can do. If I can’t answer them, maybe someone else can. Maybe I’ll post the rejects and let you Dear Chica wannabes respond….

Chica dear, send na ko ng mail sayo no answer? Bat ganun? may pinipili ka ba? Anywayz, I like your website so sana naman sagutin mo na yun ma sabina. - Via text

Chica - “……………….”

Im gay but I think I’m no anymore because I’ve been hanging often with my male buddies lately. I’m confused. Am I bisexual? - Doddy via text

Chica - Your not bisexual, your just horny. You wanna do it with guys and girls! What about animals? What about the holes in bowling balls? Do they turn you on?

May BF ka na ba? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Seeeeeeeeeecret………I’m so showbiz.

Will you Please xplain what Putanginamo.com website is about? I have nothing against your website. It may sound obnoxious to others. Any beautiful text mate there? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Hi. Will you please make your own observation? I have nothing against your question. You may sound obnoxious to others. Any ugly text mte there? I’m sure…..

Dear Chica, Can’t you pay somebody to beat the living crap out of Carlos Agassi? - Kalbo via text

Chica - I don’t have enough money to pay anyone but I’m sure that there are a lot of people that will kick his ass for FREE! Be carefull, the guy is actually kinda big. I saw him at Megamall a few weeksa ago. All the girls were giggling except for me. What’s up with that dumb ass song with that balikyaban with big boobs? If you hate Carlos Agassi look out for Mo Twister! I think Mo is a better rapper…..

Ikaw naman syadong naman ang question whj I mean is dner pr lng why? may ibang meaning pa b ang rkt? Hey girl no malice I will teach you - cris via text

Chica - What the HELL are you asking? Maybe you need someone to teach you how to write….

y chiac name mo? bagay kyo ni doctor dogan pnagkaiba nyo lng nauupdate site mo, sha hnde. pero quapo sha ha. pero masbagay kme kaysa kyo. putangina.com naman o! - Anonymus via text

Chica - My name is Chica cuz I’m Chica. Chica means girl not Chica like Rey Pumaloy. I don’t like Doctor Dogan, parang bading. It’s Putanginamo.com! Please get the name right otherwise you might end up on that other site….hehehe

Ok webbie nyo! Mga putangina nyo…. - SD KAlI via text

Chica - Putanginamorin(can’t register that, Mr.PLDT.com already did). What a waste of a text message, even if he sent it through the web.

Dear Chica, what do you think about that other site that is copying you guys? Baduy sila - Baduy via text

Chica - Um…..er……that site……..I think that they should…….No comment…..(showbiz)…..

Oi Chica. Pwede m bng patayin c april boy at c judy ann?putangina.com nabuburat na ako don eh. and meron ka bng marijuana dyan? - Anonymus via email

Chica - Why would you want to kill April Boy and Judy Ann? A lot of people who visit this site will be very sad!!! Why not just have them mate and have a kid. The kid would be the MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN THE PHILPPINES. Nope, no weed here. Why dont you check the other site. Hehe….

Dear Chica, can u teach me how 2 smoke?personally. wat brand do i buy?shud i use a lyter or matches? - lcv 2000 via text

Chica - Smoking is bad for you health. If you want to die quicker, then just reveal yourself to the people who write in the guestbook! Hahaha! If you do smoke, I suggest the chong pare brand blue seal. Don’t use a lighter, use two rocks instead.

Ey CHIKA, i tried so many times to call it quits wd my bf pero ayawnya.what will i do eh di ko na sya labs? - Jo3ym via email

Chica - If you don’t love him then let him go unless you like the sex. Your name is Joy, right?

Dear Chica, when r u guys gona update ur website? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Open your eyes and sign up to the mailing list. This site doesn’t have a schedule for updates. We update when there’s content. The only thing monthly is the “Photo of the month” and the “MP3 of the month”. If anybody has an event they would like us to cover, let us know.

Are you gay? gay as in BAKLA! Fredrick Santiago FrederickS@man.ph.sykes.com

Chica - No. I’m not gay. Why do you think I’m gay Mr.Fredrick Santiago FrederickS@man.ph.sykes.com? Is it becuase this site has content about models and fashion? You must be gay if you don’t like models. Maybe you want us to feature male models! You must be macho. Macho chupa…..btw, it’s not bad being gay. I have lots of gay friends. Maybe you want them to email you. Hint hint….

Hey Chica… So. why is your pic so DARK??? Zits? - Alain via email

Chica - Have you ever heard of the term mystery? Oh, how about anonymous? No zits…..only big ass warts on my butt! Ha! If your reading this, I guess you saw my new picture.

Dear Chica, well I got a problem about this guy that I like. Now he got a girlfriend and I just can’t forget him and move on ,coz I’m still inlove with him and I don’t know what to do? - Kaytagal via email

Chica -you’re lucky!! why?– Coz you’re given one road to choose, and that is let go! At this point you’re at, every advise will be bullish. So dont force yourself to forget him, just let it pass. Keep me updated if there’s progress.

Could you somehow put a celebrity in front the computer and let them chat with us ordinary people? - Francis via email

Chica - What kind of celebritiy? Bomba star? Jolina? Having personally chatted with these celebritys, I personally find it more interesting chatting with “oridinary” people. Why not try abs-cbn.com or their wack ass pinoycentral.com? You gotta stop going gaga over these “stars”. They are just as ordinary as you and me! I know some of them. Lets just chat with each other instead. How come nobody uses the WHITE BOARD CHAT? Everytime I go in nobody is there? It’s a nice chat room where you can draw stuff on the same white board! Coolio…

Dear Chica, Carlos Agassi can’t rap. Feeling Will Smith yun gagong yun. - Anonymus via text

Chica - You got that right! I’d like to see him battle Down Earf or Johnny Krush! I don’t know much about hip hop and rap but I do know that he sucks more than a Malate pokpok. If there was ever a gay rapper, he is it(even if aint gay). Sorry, you played yourself Mr. Amir. BTW, what’s up with Amir? Is he bumbay? Not that it’s bad to be bumbay. Bumbays are cool!

I saw your # in d internet. Y is it titled putangina? hu r u? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Y? Because we can! And the name is not PUTANGINA! It’s Putanginamo.com! Do not forget the dot, other wise you might get pregnant. Get it? Hehehe. Ok, stupid joke….

Dear Chica, pare….may libreng internet accnt ka ba dyan…..kung meron bigyan mo naman ako tol…….promise, bibigyan kita ng libreng hithit….hmmnnnnn….sarappp…swabe… email - ang iyong brod, HARD-Kulangot - via email

Chica - Chong, pre , that is illegal.

Dear Chica, Isn’t the DLSU and Ateneo rivilary annoying? - Anonymus via text

Chica - It sure is. The battle of the pare’s. You know pare’s you should just chill out. DLSU and Ateneo are like GMA and ABS-CBN. Both are just carbon copies of eachother. Having too much school pride can be damaging to your health. It’s funny how students complain how hard is it to study and how annoying their teachers are but then get mad when someone says something bad about their school. These two schools act all bad but in reality UP can kick both their butts at the same time! What do you think about the AMA and STI rivilary?

Hey Chica… So. why is your pic so DARK??? Zits? - Alain via email

Chica - Have you ever heard of the term mystery? Oh, how about anonymous? No zits…..only big ass warts on my butt! Ha! If your reading this, I guess you saw my new picture.

Dear Chica, well I got a problem about this guy that I like. Now he got a girlfriend and I just can’t forget him and move on ,coz I’m still inlove with him and I don’t know what to do? - Kaytagal via email

Chica -you’re lucky!! why?– Coz you’re given one road to choose, and that is let go! At this point you’re at, every advise will be bullish. So dont force yourself to forget him, just let it pass. Keep me updated if there’s progress.

Could you somehow put a celebrity in front the computer and let them chat with us ordinary people? - Francis via email

Chica - What kind of celebritiy? Bomba star? Jolina? Having personally chatted with these celebritys, I personally find it more interesting chatting with “oridinary” people. Why not try abs-cbn.com or their wack ass pinoycentral.com? You gotta stop going gaga over these “stars”. They are just as ordinary as you and me! I know some of them. Lets just chat with each other instead. How come nobody uses the WHITE BOARD CHAT? Everytime I go in nobody is there? It’s a nice chat room where you can draw stuff on the same white board! Coolio…

Dear Chica, Carlos Agassi can’t rap. Feeling Will Smith yun gagong yun. - Anonymus via text

Chica - You got that right! I’d like to see him battle Down Earf or Johnny Krush! I don’t know much about hip hop and rap but I do know that he sucks more than a Malate pokpok. If there was ever a gay rapper, he is it(even if aint gay). Sorry, you played yourself Mr. Amir. BTW, what’s up with Amir? Is he bumbay? Not that it’s bad to be bumbay. Bumbays are cool!

I saw your # in d internet. Y is it titled putangina? hu r u? - Anonymus via text

Chica - Y? Because we can! And the name is not PUTANGINA! It’s Putanginamo.com! Do not forget the dot, other wise you might get pregnant. Get it? Hehehe. Ok, stupid joke….

Dear Chica, pare….may libreng internet accnt ka ba dyan…..kung meron bigyan mo naman ako tol…….promise, bibigyan kita ng libreng hithit….hmmnnnnn….sarappp…swabe… email - ang iyong brod, HARD-Kulangot - via email

Chica - Chong, pre , that is illegal.

Dear Chica, Isn’t the DLSU and Ateneo rivilary annoying? - Anonymus via text

Chica - It sure is. The battle of the pare’s. You know pare’s you should just chill out. DLSU and Ateneo are like GMA and ABS-CBN. Both are just carbon copies of eachother. Having too much school pride can be damaging to your health. It’s funny how students complain how hard is it to study and how annoying their teachers are but then get mad when someone says something bad about their school. These two schools act all bad but in reality UP can kick both their butts at the same time! What do you think about the AMA and STI rivilary?

Dear Chica, Why don’t you feature stuff about Ateneo, CRC, and Lasalle? - Christian Santos via email.

Chica - Sure pare. We will try pare but you know pare, our website pare isn’t really school oriented pare. Understand pare? Ok pare. Lets smoke pare.

Dear Chica, My boyfriend and I are thinking of “going all the way” but he doesn’t know that I’m a guy. How should I break it to him or should I tell him at all? - Backstreetboy via text

Chica - No don’t tell him! Let him find out the hard way!!!! That’s what he gets for being stupid. I wanna see if you look like a girl, got a pict? Hehehe

Dear Chica, Are you serious? My friend told me that I can’t get pregnant if I jump up and down before sex. True? - Anonymous via text

Chica - Hell yeah we are serious! BTW, why did you ring my phone and hang up? Anyway, I’ll answer your question. Yes, you can get pregnant even if you jump up and down before sex unless you fall and break your neck. Hello, how old are you? 12??!!

PUTANG INA MO!!!! - Anonymous via text

Chica - Wow! You remembered the website. Don’t forget the .com. We love you.

Dear Chica, Can you please feature young Pinoy and Pinay stars like Jolina, Judy Ann, and Wowie? Thanks - Jennifer via text and email

Chica - We will feature them when Erap grows intelligence, when traffic is banished on Edsa, when senators stop dying their hair, when policemen are in shape, when SM sales ladies stop wearing pink and purple lipstick, when taxi drivers stop ripping you off, when local TV shows stop putting down darker brethren, and when it snows in Manila. Please let us know when these things occur so that we can feature Jolina and crew ASAP. (Actually we are trying to interview these teenybopper stars but I don’t think they would do an interview with Putanginamo.com! I also don’t think they would answer questions like “Are you gay?”, or Jolina: “Have you ever made out with a guy?”)