Dear Chica, putang ina mo! And I’m nt refering 2 ur website!!! - Anonymus via text

Chica - (When I got this message I rang this person’s phone just to annoy them. I usually don’t do this but I was bored : )

Misd call ka jan! cnt afford 2 call me?just hope id b able 2 c my crude rmark on ur cool webbie!

Chica - Of course I can’t afford to call you. If I was a rich SOB, do you think I would spend my time answering questions from total strangers? I would be traveling and shopping! As for your “crude” remark…. do you really think I will cry cuz of what you texted me?

Help! I ws nt lyk dis until i study at an all - gurl school! I am falling in lov 2 a gurl! wat shud I do? - Chickie

Chica - Cool….another lesbien. My theory stands correct! The reason the Philippines has so many gay men and women is becuase of the isolation! What do these nuns and priests expect in an all girl and all boy school? There are only two outputs: 1) You either become gay or 2) You become horny ass hell! Am I right or am I right?

putangina.com! hehehe! cool website dude! laughing trip ako when i read all of your responses to the stupid questions some of your “avid fans” posted. Keep up the cool work chica! - Wassup Pipol via email

Chica - It’s Putanginamo.com! I’m not a dude, dude. I’m a dudette. Thanks! I wouldn’t call them “avid fans”, I would call them “rabid” fans. There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Only STUPID PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS………….

do u think AMA is a rily MF rotten school lyk every1 else says? - Mojo via text

Chica - No, AMA isn’t rotten, just the students! Hehehe….just kidding! I actually almost went there. If I was an AMA student, I would go to the states and make $100,000 a year as a programmer instead of making P6,000 here! Is Jolina still the AMA mascot? I heard that the AMA students protested that she be removed as their mascot. Is that true? LONG LIVE THE AMA AND JOLINA LOVE TEAM!

r u a pervert? - chickie via text

Chica - No, but your mom is. Why would you say that? I would say that most people that email and text me are the perverts! WAIT! Aren’t you the same Chickie that is falling in love with a girl? Your trying to get with me huh? You wanna hump me huh? I think you will have better luck with the girl in your school.

dear chica, if goemon(samurai guy of lupin) fought kenchi(of samurai x), who wud win? - Kalbo via text

Chica - Hey, didn’t I already answer one of your questions already? I don’t know, I never watched any of those movies. The only ones I’ve seen are Ghost in the shell and Ninja Scroll. I think the 2 girls in those movies will kick both Goemon and Kenchi’s ass!